The Heartwood Letter: A creative lifestyle and art newsletter by Katrina Heartwood

Edition #11 — Friday, March 20, 2026 (sorry I'm a day late - I had to do Uber Eats extra this week because my partner and I are going to our first anime con since moving to Colorado this weekend! Gotta make that money for gas and good and stuff.)

TL;DR: It's always okay to change your mind. If something doesn't feel right, chances are the Universe is redirecting you where you're meant to go.

A couple of weeks ago, I got accepted into my first art exhibition since moving to Colorado (plus my first one of the year)!

It's a women's only exhibition held in New York by an organization I've done a show before but in London.

(I didn't actually go to London, I just shipped my piece there. But it would've been so much fun to go.)

I was VERY excited about the opportunity. It was my first art exhibition anything since moving out of Oklahoma. I applied as a joke, thinking that I wouldn't get in (even though I've done the London show with them before, there have been times where I didn't get into a show of theirs).

But I realized that I had a really good problem: I didn't really have any artwork I could send to them.

Every time I make a new paper collage, it always sells. (Oh no, my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttery, my ass is too phat, the absolute horror.)

When I got the acceptance email, I only had my unframed mini collages but they're not ideal for a show in New York imo. But when I realized that the exhibition dates were March 26-27, I kinda panicked.

If there was one other thing I didn't have that was money, it was time.

I frantically get to work.

As a paper collage artist who typically only makes 1-2 new original collages a month (every other month if I'm extra busy), I made 3 brand new ones in 2-3 days.

I finished the first half of my women themed "The Elementals" collection, representing the elements of Fire, Aether, and Air. (Earth, Water, Light, and Dark are currently in the works btw!)

But during the creation process of The Elementals, I got the strangest feeling.

Something inside of me was telling me something wasn't right.

I could smell it in the air, and it wasn't a pleasant smell. It was the kind of smell that reminded you that the cat peed somewhere and you knew that you could find it but it was in a really hard to find spot.

In order for me to plan appropriately for an exhibition that was so last-minute, I had questions like art dimensions for my space, when payment was due, where I needed to ship the artworks, all that fun stuff.

So I sent emails with my questions.

But I wasn't getting any answers.

In the midst of me working on my new collages, I'm operating on blind faith. Normally I can do that pretty well, but for exhibitions like this, it was like I was walking through a maze and I couldn't see shit.

I was navigating in the dark.

I didn't even know if my collages were even going to work for this exhibition.

So that raised a red flag for me: lack of communication and transparency.

I was smelling that cat piss smell even before the communication issues. But the smell got even stronger when I wasn't getting any responses.

When I finally heard back from them, the exhibition fee started at $120. Not absolutely terrible but for a small growing artist like me, that's literally two days' worth of doing Uber Eats for me.

When I ship original artwork to clients and customers, I have to use UPS personally.

They are fantastic and I love them a lot more than my local post office but they ain't cheap. Shipping STARTS at $14.99 without weighing the packages and doesn't include packaging and tracking and all that fun stuff. (One of my big art business projects for this year is to enhance the shipping experience for people who buy from me directly and invest in things like stickers, mini flyers with information about me and discount codes, wrapping paper, shipping labels, return labels, etc.)

But the financial factors raised another red flag for me. I think that's normal for doing art shows and stuff like this.

My stomach kept hurting so much that it started hurting my chest, too. I told myself I was overthinking things, this is just what artists do. This is all normal.

Here's the thing: I didn't even sell any of my artwork when it was showing in London. It's great that artists retain 100% of the sales. But for me in my line of work, it's almost like I don't NEED to do this kind of art show.

I reviewed my evidence like a detective. I looked at the facts and logistics. Then conducted an inner inventory of what I was experiencing inside.

Something didn't feel right. But I found the cat pee and cleaned it up.

I couldn't move forward with the opportunity anymore.

I sent the email withdrawing for the show. I didn't give the curators any explanation. (I thought it was interesting that they only responded very quickly when they noticed that I was dropping out but they didn't prioritize my other emails that were actually important.)

And here's why it was a good idea to back off out of the exhibition and what the Universe was trying to tell me without being explicit about it.

All of the artwork I was planning on sending to the show got sold the day after I pulled out of the New York exhibition.

Instead of losing money, I made money.

Moral of the story: if an opportunity suddenly doesn’t feel right, LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

Sometimes you know that something isn't right before you actually get confirmation about it.

It's absolutely okay to change your mind about something you originally wanted and then you got new information.

I'm not somebody who typically does shows, festivals, exhibitions, artists alleys, etc. of any kind.

This might be controversial for some people, but I do firmly believe that as an artist and creative, you don't HAVE to be a part of galleries or do art shows and exhibitions if you have strengths elsewhere.

I not only don't like fake connections, but I'm a beast when it comes to social media and content creation so I would much rather focus my strengths on what consistently works for me and my creative business and not do things just because other people are doing them. What works for other people doesn't guarantee that it's going to work for you, too.

I do worry that I'm doing myself a disservice because I don't play the main part of the art business game: getting myself out there and doing markets and shit like that.

I'm not saying doing in-person events are not valuable. I actually think it's a great strategy for any creative business, especially for brand awareness.

I'm doing the same thing. I'm just doing it online. My work is always consistently selling and demand is high online, so why stress myself out in an environment I'm not comfortable with just because other people are doing it?

But this made me realize something else.

As much as I love social media and being online, I DO think it's very important to grow your email mailing list. You have to consider the reality that followers on social media are not yours, you do not own them.

Not every opportunity you get turns out to be a good one.

It could actually be blocking you from the blessings you’re supposed to be getting.

🧠 Brain-Picks

• "Tongues are crazy. You're literally always licking the inside of your own mouth." - K.W. Bogen
• I accidentally called Linkin Park LinkedIn Park just now and now that’s all I will call them.
• The Dinosaurs documentary on Netflix really puts time in perspective. The dinosaurs existed for 165 million years. It once rained for two million years straight. The tallest dinosaur, Sauroposeidon was 60ft tall. There were birds as tall as giraffes that ate dinosaurs the size of horses whole. Homo sapiens have been around for a blip in time. We are way too confident to be this young as a species. There’s a dinosaur that ate great white sharks like we eat popcorn.

🫀 Tips for creating and living creatively

• I can no longer afford to consider those who refuse to consider me.
• The influencer era is dying. The personal brand era is taking over. People want humans again.
• Alysa Liu REALLY ate with, “Sometimes winning is not the medal. Sometimes winning is coming home to yourself."

With gratitude,

Katrina

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